Big Top Mess

Theirs

Mine

Brooke has been fascinated by infomercials for a while now. She knows just about every product and their specific uses. If for example she sees me digging around in my purse looking for my keys she will tell me "You know if you had buxton cell phone wallet you would know where everything was"....one time while I was hanging clothes in the closet she told me "You know if you had wonder hanger you would have much more room"...she has also tried to convince me and her dad that she needs a tempurpedic bed because "those springs in her mattress are REALLY hurting her back." She once told me that I needed perfect brownie pan because "I ALWAYS ruin her brownies." So imagine my "surprise" when she told me the ONLY thing she wanted for Christmas was Big Top Cupcake.....for those that have not seen that infomercial it is pretty much just a silicone cake pan in the shape of a HUGE cupcake. Well I searched and searched for that stupid thing and finally found one at big lots. I had cake mix and frosting all ready to go and I watched in amazement as she opened her Big Top Cupcake. You would have thought I bought her the moon. So I have been promising her for three days now that we would make a "cupcake".....this evening I get all of the ingredients out....let her mix it up....pour the batter into the molds and bake that sucker as directed. After an hour or so I pull it out of the oven and (like they show in the video) pop it out of the mold....only mine didn't quite "pop out" like they show on tv so instead of looking like a cupcake it looked a little more like.....well, a mess. I tried to put it together hoping she would just put the icing on and not say anything. That theory was quickly proven wrong when she told me "you are the worst cook in the world AND you are really bad at making Big Top Cupcake." I of course can not compete with the infomercials that make PERFECT "colossal cupcakes" with all different perfect and wonderful decorations...that is after all how they suck in five year olds and convince them to have their mothers buy these stupid products in the first place. Maybe in this situation practice makes perfect?? Well in any case....bad or not....she still ate it and in the end I am certain that is all that matters after all it may not have looked like a cupcake, but at least it was edible. :-)

Our Little Accident

My husband calls me on his way home from work yesterday and tells me that when he gets home there is something he needs me to "take care of"....coming from him there really was no telling...."What is it"...I say....."Well I may have accidentally just bought a rabbit (YOU DID WHAT???) and I need you to get it a water bottle." (At this point I sure was hoping that this was some strange man that had the wrong number.) Brooke's science teacher at school has a rabbit and she is constantly talking about the thing so he decided that she needed to have her own rabbit. So about 10 minutes later in walks my husband carrying this little bitty thing....guess it wasn't a joke after all. So I of course had to go to pets mart because while he "accidentally" bought a rabbit he did not "accidentally" buy a cage, food or anything else that this little guy needed. We then spent the rest of the night attempting to teach Paige how to be easy with this thing (if you have met Paige you know this is next to impossible) and trying to keep the cat away from it. My husband tells me "Oh, that cat is not going to do anything"...."Ummm maybe you missed my whole the cat pinned down a mouse story because I am pretty sure that YES he will do something" and sure enough the cat was VERY interested in figuring out what it was and what he was supposed to do with it. If I am being completely honest the little guy is kind of cute....he is black and white and looks like he has on a tuxedo....he is very soft and sweet....BUT he is also one more thing for this mama to take care of and I still don't know how I feel about that.

When The Husband Is Away

This past weekend my husband went out of town to go hunting and I was semi excited to be able to spend some time with just the girls...we ordered pizza, put on our pjs, got ice cream and watched a movie.....and then it happened....the sun set and it was night time. I don't know what it is about being alone at night time that increases my freak out factor, but any noise I hear or every time the dogs even think about moving I go into FULL FREAK OUT mode!! The one thing I was really looking forward to while he was gone was having the bed to myself....no snoring....no cover stealing....no bed hogging....just SLEEP....and then it happened....I was so freaked out that not one but both girls were sleeping in my bed....with me in the middle (who is the parent in this situation!) Now let me just tell you that I do not live in a bad neighborhood and as a matter of fact the police station is literally in my backyard...I have no real reason behind the freak outs....they just happen uncontrollably. I was finally able to fall asleep sandwiched between my children and then it happened...the craziest...loudest....most unusual noise woke me up...as I lay there paralyzed in bed trying to figure out what the heck was going down at my house it dawned on me finally what the noise was....two....or maybe an army....of squirrels were playing tag on the roof....why do things like that happen when I am by myself??? It's like those stupid squirrels saw that my husband was gone and began plotting against me or something. I was able to go back to sleep and when the sun came up I was so relieved I made it through the night. (like I was stuck on an episode of "I shouldn't be alive" or something) Okay so I made it though the first night, but I still had one more night to go. Saturday night I had two Christmas parties to go to and my mom was coming over to watch the girls...she had agreed to stay the night....whew, I thought....I wasn't going to be alone. Well when I finally got home from my Christmas parties she tells me that she decided she was just going to go on home. As she was leaving she tells me that my cat had been staring at the refrigerator all night. So she leaves and I go to bed....just as I am getting ready to fall asleep my dog JUMPS up and begins to bark.....there goes my freak out session...so I open my bedroom door and let her out to see where she is going to go and what she is going to do before I even so much as think about stepping out of that room. She goes into the kitchen and is just barking so I go in there and discover that she is barking at the cat....but she never barks at the cat....so upon further investigation I discover she in fact is not barking at the cat....she is barking at the MOUSE that the cat has pinned down...that was probably behind the refrigerator and the reason he was staring at it all night. At this point I am literally standing on a chair in the middle of my hallway....calling my mom and then my husband like either one of them was going to fix the situation over the phone. Our house backs straight up to a field of nothingness and apparently this little fellow decided that it was warmer in my house then it was in his field....this was so not okay by me. I am not afraid of mice...so to speak...but they do tend to not so slightly freak me out....and as I learned Saturday night they are quick little suckers. So as I am standing on a chair trying to figure out what to do my cat chases the mouse somewhere....and BELIEVE me I was NOT going to go look for it....so what I did do was get both of my girls in my bed...shut and locked the door (like the mouse knew how to turn the door knob) put a towel under the door (just in case) and vowed I was not stepping foot out of that bed until my husband (the squirrel keeper awayer, noise detector and mouse destroyer) came home. I have NEVER been so happy to see the man that I married as when he walked in that door yesterday. I am so glad that weekend is over and I do not know why all the crazy things wait to happen until I am by myself....but if it was some sort of test or something I know one thing....I failed miserably.

The Last Four Days

We are finally (for the most part anyway) settled into the new house. This past weekend was our first time to have overnight company....our good friends (may as well be family) Emily and Josh live about two and half hours away...they drove up with their kids on Friday night and stayed the weekend with us. We had a BLAST....the kids played together so well...matter of fact Brooke and their son Grayden decided they were married about half way through the visit and spent the rest of the time calling each other honey...it was rather amusing! Paige spent the weekend being Paige and sometimes they didn't want to play with her because she was being mean (imagine that!) but all in all they played well. Saturday Emily, her daughter and myself left all of the kids with the guys and went shopping for Christmas presents....(just for the record I could spend at least one full day in Tuesday Morning) and then we went and had lunch. It was nice to get away and believe it or not the house was still standing and not to terribly destroyed when we got home. Saturday night we stayed up so late that I actually started to fall asleep in my chair. Well I for one had a wonderful time having them here (always do!) and just love them so much! Sunday they had to hit the road to get back home...me and the girls got up and went to church then came home and Will took Brooke to a birthday party (I know I couldn't believe it either :-) and Paige took a nap so I had a little quite time all to myself....sometimes (okay...ALL the time when you are a mom) that is the best thing in the whole entire world! Then yesterday....my favorite thing of all time...Carissa came over and we painted during nap time...well technically the nap never really occurred...but anyway we still painted. Every once in a while we get together to oil paint and if we are being honest (sorry Carissa) neither one of us has any real talent...we are not artistic...but we LOVE it and we have so much fun just sitting at the kitchen table painting away. Our pictures always turn out good to us and we always have fun.... I suppose that is all that matters. I could not have asked or imagined a better weekend...and to think I don't even really like the weekends.

Little Miss Independent

Since we have settled into a new routine we have been having dinner at about 5:30 and then after dinner I give the girls baths. Bathing and getting two GIRLS ready for bed tends to take a big chunk out of my evening. Well yesterday I was starting dinner when I hear my two year old yelling from another part of the house "Mommy, mommy I need your help".....there is something about this statement coming from a two year old that makes me want to run the other way...or at the very least pretend I didn't hear her at all...but I instead I went looking for her and I found her standing in my shower with no clothes on pointing up to the water faucets. So of course I say.... "What are you doing Paige"..... to which she so matter of fact replies "I taking shower". So thinking it would scare her out of the shower I turned on the water....shut the glass door and waited for her to bolt out of there suddenly having a change of heart....but that did not happen at all....instead she stood there and she ACTUALLY took a shower. I stood back where she could not see me and watched her in the mirror as she took a wash rag and washed her little body and half way washed her hair. It was quite amusing for me to watch this short little bitty thing act in such a grown up independent way. About 10 minutes later she called me in there to tell me she was done and I had one clean happy kid and one less bath for the night. Now I can't help but think how grand it would be and how much of my nights I could get back if I could only get my five year old on board with this whole bathe yourself idea!!

New House And Semi New Children

We finally did it...after two months of searching we finally found a house!! It took us four incredibly tiring days to move everything....I had forgot how much work moving is and I hope to not have to remember for a LOOOONNNGGG time! I was on autopilot the whole time with no inconceivable notion of a schedule of any kind....barely stopping to eat and just falling down to sleep for a few hours before starting all over again...but we finally got everything moved and the house in some sort of livable order....now we are on to the fun part that is putting everything away. This house has 6 bedrooms so we have a place for everything and then some, but the actual process of getting things were they go seems like it just might take the rest of my lifetime. I swear sometimes I wonder why I wanted to quit my job...I work a million times harder now then I ever even thought about working when I was actually working! I am enjoying having my own space again...decorating the way I want.....having an actual office where I can get things done without interruptions.....BUT what I am enjoying the absolute most is......MY CHILDREN (well at least I think these are MY children)....for the last year Paige has stayed up all hours of the night watching tv until she fell asleep and Brooke has stayed up until we have gone to bed because she slept most nights on a pallet on our floor...but since we have been here....they have both slept in their OWN beds....ALL NIGHT.....and...are you ready for this....AT A BEDTIME!!! And my little no nap taking Paige has even been taking a nap in her bed during the days. They each have a bedroom and they also have a play room so they are not constantly under my feet and on my nerves....AND they are getting along (well for the most part anyway)....things are SO right in my world again. Now I am sure as soon as I publish this post they will inevitably revert back to their old ways of fighting...arguing...and flat out driving me crazy, but it has been oh so nice to at least have a few days of peace and some sort of normalcy in my life....and having my own house again isn't half bad either!

What Really Matters

I sat at Women of Faith this year and listened to Karen James tell her heartbreaking story of loss. I cried my eyes out when she told how she came to spend a week at the bottom of a mountain while a full force rescue was under way. Her husband and the love of her life, Kelly James, was stuck somewhere on that mountain and all she could do was pray that he would be found. I should of had a box of kleenex devoted for this very occasion so when a friend of mine asked me this past week if I would like to borrow Karen's book (Holding Fast) that she wrote after she had to bury her husband I said yes even though I knew (and told my friend) it was going to make me cry. Whelp...I was oh so right and of course the only time I really have to read is in the parent pick up line at Brooke's school so who knows what those other parents think of the crazy chick crying in the pick up line. I just finished the book tonight and if you haven't read it I can highly recommend it (don't let the crying scare you)....she bravely details the tragic events that played out in her life and the lives of her step children when her husband (and two of his friends) went for a "quick" climb and never made it down. She depicted how God reveled himself to her through this tragedy. The book makes you think about the things in life that really matter and how much time we waste on what doesn't. It makes you see that God never leaves us (even in the darkest imaginable times) and there are no coincidences in this life, we are all part of His master plan. As I read the last few pages of the book I began to take comfort in the fact that God has already read the end of MY book....he knows the whole plan and sees the whole picture...which ultimately frees me up to just live.....which means I have time to enjoy what really matters in this life. With thanks to my friend Tracey for letting me borrow the book, to Karen James for putting her feelings into words for the world to read, and to God for allowing me to enjoy the little things that matter so dearly.

Back To School, OH, Back To School

When I quite my job I did so because I wanted to spend time with my girls of course, but I was also on a mission to finish my degree I started before I decided to have those lovely little life changers. I was rocking right along until this summer when I spent a hellish semester with what I like to consider the world's worst professor that actually made question my ability to complete not only that class but any class there after. After that wonderful experience I decided I needed a semester off which I so graciously took and every single day has flown by faster than the last! Today was the first day of registration for the spring and I have never been one to register early......I usually just log on when ever and take what ever happens to be left...no wonder I ended up with the last guy!!...so anyway this time I spent hours...LITERALLY...hours on ratemyprofessor.com doing my very best to choose my professors wisely this time around (just for the record I looked up the "worlds worst professors" rating and on a scale from 1-5 Mr. Awesome was a 1...lesson learned.) So...I found the most highly rated professors and compiled my list and left my computer on because I set my alarm for midnight and jumped out of bed and ran to my computer thinking I would hit "submit" and then I could go right back to sleep....ummmmm....it didn't quite work out like that....no wonder I never register early...these people are vultures....I hit submit and quickly got kicked out of the site...I then spent the next hour trying to log on sitting at my computer nodding in and out of sleep feeling like I was up feeding a newborn again ...then finally at 1:15 just as I was getting ready to throw in the towel and crawl back to bed I was able to submit and register for every class that was on my list so with any luck this time I will have much better professors (although he is not hard to beat). I am attempting 13 hours this semester...so things are about to get really fun, interesting and crazy at my house!! I have never been so ready for a semester to start...I am sure I will regret that thinking half way through it...but as of right now I am ready for it to start and ready for it to be over all at the same time.

Potty Training, Computer Viruses And The Cost of Health Care

The only thing that these three things have in common is each one of them at this very moment is frustrating me beyond comprehension...matter of fact they all make me want to get in bed pull the covers over my head and pretend the world does not exist....if solely for a minute. Let us first start with potty training (the lesser of the frustrates)....okay so Paige is 2 1/2 now and we have been attempting potty training for a while...she will go potty all day long as long as you physically take her and put her on the potty, but she hasn't quite mastered the whole telling me when she needs to go potty...that is unless we are out somewhere with no potty in sight THEN all of a sudden she knows how to tell me. I was spoiled with Brooke....I am not ashamed to admit...because she was in day care....you would be surprised what day care teaches your child that you don't even think about....thanks to daycare I just remember her one day waking up fully potty trained...is it selfish to put Paige in daycare just until she is potty trained....okay...okay....well I guess she can't be in diapers forever (can she?) I imagine one day she will figure it out....so lets move on to computer viruses.....first let me just say UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! My computer has come down with a virus and I have spent ALL day...no JOKE ALL day.....and $200 to try to fix it and let me just say it is not any closer to being fixed. I was too cheap to go and spend $400 on a new desktop, but apparently not too cheap to spend $200 on nothing....I am pure genius and (to put it very nicely) I am not happy about it at all. Which brings us to the last and probably most frustrating point (although that stupid virus is right on up there) the cost of health care.....oh the cost of health care...my husband just brought home the enrollment package for the new health care that his company has and to cover a family it is $250.73 A WEEK....THAT'S RIGHT A WEEK...that is OVER $1000 a month.....is it just me or is that completely and utterly insane?!?!?!???!!! Why oh why can't we live in a world where babies are potty trained, computer viruses are extinct and health care is free or at least a whole lot cheaper...that shouldn't be too much to ask for.

What's In A Good Day Anyway

Facebook is a funny tool if you think about it. Thanks to facebook I can generally see who has had a good day and who has had a not so good day which is funny in itself because it has had me wondering what really constitutes a "good day". I can tell you that when I was working I "knew" a good day from a bad day. A good day was classified as overall problem free and at the end of the day all of my work was finished and I had a clean slate, so to speak, to start the next day....now THAT was a good day!! Well since I started staying home I think I have lost my concept of what actually makes a good day. When your job is taking care of two other little souls under the age of five there is NO such thing as a problem free day...no way...no how...SOMETHING always happens and NOTHING goes according to plan....and on top of that my work is NEVER done...being a mom is a 24 hour job and my slate is never clean. I recently asked Brooke what a mom's job was to which she replied: to drive us places, take care of babies, cook us food and clean the house. SO basically I am a chauffeur, nanny, chef and a maid all without pay...how does that make any day good?! Well as I read status updates on facebook I have realized I have been in need of a "good day attitude adjustment" and that it is not lack of problems or completed tasks that make (or have ever made for that matter) a day good. MY day is GOOD because I woke up with a breath in my lungs to two healthy children who count on me to drive them places, take care of them, cook them food and clean their house...now THAT is a good day!!!

Fall Festival

Since school started I don't really get many chances to spend time with just Brooke so I was very excited to take her to her school Fall Festival Fund Raiser (at $20 per kid I would say they raised some funds!) just me and her. She was excited to go because it meant that she got to see her teacher on a Saturday...I have never seen a child love a teacher so much...she actually asked me if she could live with Mrs. Santos...sometimes when we are at home she will pretend that I AM Mrs. Santos and one day on the way home from school she would not stop crying because she said "I don't ever want to go to heaven because I will miss Mrs. Santos so much"....so anyway Saturday came and it was Fall Festival day and it just so happened that it poured rain ALL day.....poor girl was almost in tears thinking she would not get to see her teacher after all and I was almost in tears thinking I was not going to get out of the house....but lucky for us they just moved everything inside (like they were going to miss out on $20 per kid!!). So she dressed up in her costume and I took my little princess up to the school. We spent two hours up there and we had an absolute blast!!! She jumped in the bounce houses, did a cake walk, made a button, had her face painted, played a ton of games, won candy, "bought" a megaphone...light up ring and sunglasses from the school store....we ate popcorn, a caramel apple, pizza and nachos....she got to see Mrs. Santos three times and she hugged her every time like it was the first. But best of all we got to have a mommy daughter date and spend some much needed time together. She got to see her teacher on a Saturday AND I got to get out of the house which in my book is well worth the $20!

It's A T-Shirt Feud

About 10 or 11 years ago my best friend, Carissa, had stayed the night at my house one night like she had done just about every weekend before and even after this event, but I guess when she woke up that morning she needed a shirt to wear home and my mom at the time had folded some laundry and left it on the couch (fair game!!) so Carissa grabbed a t-shirt off of the top of the pile and wore it home. The t-shirt was just a plain grey t-shirt with the words Crown Royal written in purple lettering...well as it turns out this t-shirt was apparently one of my moms favorite t-shirts and Carissa did not know it at the time...the girl just wanted to go home clothed for crying out loud...but she had started a t-shirt feud that would inevitably last for quite possibly the rest of our lives. Every time my mom and Carissa talk to this day my mom asks for the shirt back.....not because she genuinely wants it back....and Carissa will never give the shirt back....not because she loves the shirt that much....it is just all for the principal of the matter. It is actually a very funny thing to watch from the side lines because in the beginning my mom thought that Carissa took it on purpose when truth of the matter was Carissa took it because it was on top of the pile. Carissa once took a picture of the t-shirt and gave it to my mom for mothers day because she said that was as close as my mom would ever get to getting her shirt back, she has even said that she will be buried in the shirt just so my mom can't take it back. Carissa came over last night and she was wearing the shirt so we took a picture and sent it to my mom, it is funny what a silly t-shirt has turned in to and now every time I see it I can't help but laugh.

Operation Find A House AND Where Did Honey Go??

A year ago we moved in with my step dad as a "temporary" thing after my husband was laid off from his job. Somehow temporary turned out to be more long term because things just worked out well and we have not been in a real hurry to go anywhere...plus who really likes moving. Well now that Will is stable in his job AND got a significant raise we have decided that it is time for our own space again. I feel like I just turned 18 and am moving out for the first time...I am so freaking excited to get our own house and have our own space. There are at least a million things about this situation that make me excited, but a few of them in no particular order are....getting my things out of storage....decorating and organizing....my children having AND sleeping in their own rooms....getting able to stay home with Paige at our OWN house....and having or NOT having people over when I want. The last year has brought on many changes and I can't wait to find a house....I started looking today but since we want to keep Brooke at the same school our looking options are pretty limited, but I am sure God will put us right where we are supposed to be. Another thing that has happened in our lives lately is Paige has developed somewhat of an imaginary friend. I had noticed her saying "Honey" a lot while she was playing and I thought it rather odd because we don't say Honey so I don't know where she picked it up but I did not think to much about it. It wasn't until the other day when we were driving to go pick sister up from school and Paige was in the back seat talking....literally having a conversation....with Honey that I realized for the first time that Honey was her friend. In observation I have learned, however, that Honey is not always around...sometimes you can ask Paige where Honey is and she will say "I no see her"...she also asks me "Where did Honey go"...she has even blinked her eyes over and over in an effort to make her appear. A lot of times Honey is outside...but most of the times we are in the car Honey is with us...matter of fact today I heard from the back seat big huge belly laughs....Paige was CRACKING UP!!! when I asked her what was going on she told me that "Honey tickling me". Honey has left me pondering many things as I am not too sure what to think about the whole imaginary friend thing, but it is pretty interesting to say the least.

Being The Mom Of A Kindergartner

In all the things I have had to do in my five years of motherhood...I would certainly say that nothing compares to being the mom of a kindergartner. It is stressful and overwhelming at times, but it seems like most days I am left with question marks floating around in my head. She is learning 50 million things at one time so when she gets home at night I have to somehow figure how to balance our usual evening routine with handwriting, reading, math, vocab words and what ever other random projects they may be doing at the time. The part I have found to be the most difficult is going through the mounds of paper she brings home everyday and deciphering what is homework, what was class work, what needs to be returned and how it needs to be done. Brooke is not very good at communicating with me what is expected of her so that leaves me to try to figure it out. This past week she was sent home with a square piece of poster board and attached was a note that stated they would be studying the Three Little Pigs (I am still trying to figure out what there is to "study" about the Three Little Pigs) and they wanted each kindergartner to make a house. The house could be made out of sticks, straw or bricks but it had to fit on the poster board. The note gave examples of houses made in the past like red play dough for bricks....toothpicks for sticks and wheat for straw...anyway you get the idea....well here was my internal dilemma...I could not for the life of me decide weather this "house" was supposed to be glued to the poster board OR if it was supposed to be a 3D house that sat on top of the poster board...I literally went back and forth with my self all weekend. I even asked my friend and she had confirmed what I was thinking.....NO WAY was it supposed to be a 3D house! Did some KINDERGARTNER out there REALLY make a 3D house out of toothpicks??? NO FREAKING WAY!!! So we gathered up some pine needles (straw) and she glued the pine needles on the poster board in the shape of a house complete with a door and a window...then when it dried she colored the whole thing like she wanted it. I thought it looked pretty good so I put it in her back pack and dropped her off at school...as I was getting ready to leave I looked in my rear view mirror to see a little girl carrying a two story mansion on top of her poster bored....you are kidding me right??? So now I am wondering did we do the project wrong or is that girls mom Martha Stewart? Should I email the teacher or just leave it alone...after all she is in Kindergarten what do they really expect from her...it wasn't MY project. This whole experience has left me rather worried because if a kindergarten project can stress me out this much I am not sure I will last for the remaining 12 years she is in school.

My First Chiropractic Experience

So here I was day six of back pain with no real end in sight. I have tried heat, ice, rest, stretching Tylenol...I was running out of ideas. Well last night at church as I was walking in my newly found "halfway up" position my friend told me about this chiropractor that is near our house. So being who I am I of course came home and googled her website and read through the whole thing and decided that I was indeed going to go today. There were a few things about her that I liked...she does not make appointments you just come in when you need (obviously between opening hours).....and she does not charge a set fee, there is simply a box on the wall (literally) and you put in the box whatever you can afford....being a mom of two small children BOTH of these things appealed to me. I woke up this morning and decided I was going to go when my husband got home so he could watch the kids (well Paige was the one I was worried about really) cause how in the world was I going to get my back looked at and try to keep an eye on kids. Well when my husband told me he wasn't going to be home until after 5:30...that seemed like light years away in "my back is KILLING me" time...so YOU KNOW it must have really been hurting me if I decided that I would take Paige with me. I was very worried about this, but at this point I didn't really care too much...so I let her sleep until 9 am so she wouldn't be tired...I packed her backpack full of toys and snacks and off we went. I didn't really know what to expect because I had never been to a chiropractor before, but when we got there the cutest and sweetest girl introduced herself and asked if Paige would like to play in the toy room while me and her visited...she had me at toy room....anyway I learned A LOT and after being adjusted I have my full upright position back!! This lady was the coolest person ever...her attitude and her spirit lit up the room...and when we were talking and Paige somehow found her way into the Dr's. office and into her purse to find AND eat her banana she wasn't even mad....but the coolest part of it all was that she is actually also a pediatric chiropractor and even adjusted Paige...or as she explained to Paige she got all the popcorn out of her body. She explained to me and showed me all the benefits of being adjusted even as young as Paige....and for the rest of the day Paige has walked around exclaiming..."My Popcorn's Gone"! I most certainly will be seeing Dr. Rachel again she was absolutely wonderful...and being able to stand up again is not too shabby either!

A Minor Set Back

Well it all really started on Saturday, I think, when I woke up I noticed that my lower back was unusually sore. My back is always in some sort of pain (especially when I wake up....I really need to invest in a new mattress) but this was a different kind of pain. It wasn't however unbearable so I took some Tylenol and went on about my day. By Saturday night it was hurting worse and by Sunday, as I had told my friend, I was trying to decide if it was a pulled muscle or my kidneys that were bothering me. I have had numerous kidney problems over the years and have even been hospitalized for it so that was certainly not out of my realm of thinking...but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I came home from church and laid on a heating pad and it started to feel better. Woke up this morning and went on a walk with my friend and our kids (pulling a wagon) and by the time I got home from our walk I could no longer stand in an upright position. I mean that sucker hurts like heck!!! If I move a certain way (or really any way for that matter) it almost takes my breathe away. I literally got stuck on the couch and had to get my five year old to help me up. I have NO clue what-so-ever I would have done to make my back hurt this bad but one thing I know for sure is I hope it starts to feel better sooner rather than later because being in charge of Paige 24 hours a day requires speed and lets just say that I have the speed of an 80 year old turtle. She ran out the door at one point today and by the time I could even get up to get to the door she was half way across the yard already swinging on her swing set. She has literally been running the household today and that does not make for a very good situation for anyone involved.

Out Of The Mouth Of A Two Year Old

I am sure that everyone on the planet has heard the term "Kids say the darndest things"...and I am sure that everyone on the planet who has ever come into contact with children would agree with this statement. I personally believe that between the ages of 2 and 3 kids say even darnder things! I have a friend who has a three year old little girl who I absolutely adore and this kid literally cracks me up every time I am around her. She says the funniest most off the wall things...I just told my friend this week that I will be sad when she grows up a little more and quits coming up with funny stuff. I think it is awesome how kids possess the ability to be 100% silly and people think it is funny. Paige is right at that age where just about everything that comes out of her mouth is funny. Some of my absolute favorites are this new thing she has picked up where she blames EVERYTHING on the dog...and no the dog doesn't even have to be there...we could be at the store and if something happens she goes "UGGGHHH Jake-E!!!". I don't know where she got that but it is hilarious! She also says to everyone "ton't doo dawt" which is translated to mean "don't do that" but somehow when a two year old says it it suddenly becomes funny...and it is so cute and funny that she has become like a trained monkey because I make her say it all the time :-) She is also right at that age where she picks up on things that we have said and then stores them in her little memory bank and when you are least expecting it she just blurts it out...inevitably making me have to try to hold back the laughter. For example the other night she wanted her daddy to watch cartoons with her so she told him..."You come watch Jonnie Tutu NOW!!!...and when he did not respond she proceeded with....1.....2.....I gonna get a belt.....I almost died laughing because I say this to her on a daily basis...of course I never have to get a belt because she always compiles with requests at the very mention of a belt so I imagine she was a little confused when this trick did not work on daddy. Another one I am not so proud of is "I sick of it!"....that is me all the way...I am generally sick of everything by the end of the day so if you were to visit my house you could count on hearing me (OR MY TWO YEAR OLD) say "I am so sick of it." We also have a tendency to yell at the dog to "Shut up" when he barks his head of at nothing at all...which is another thing she has picked up so now when he barks its shup up Jake! That poor dog gets blamed for everything and yelled at all the time :-) We are learning to be careful about some of the things we say and we try to sit back and listen a little more because you never quite know whats going to come out of the mouth of a two year old!

Meet Me In The Medium

I am what they title "hot natured" as I tend to find myself hot the majority of the time. This is an interesting aspect of my life because while one would think that my hot nature would affect only me it is quite ironic how it actually affects everyone around me. For example, the weather is changing (FINALLY!!) here in Texas.....last week we were in the 90's and this week we will be in the 70's.....fall is right on the tip of our noses and there is finally an end in sight to the miserably hot days....I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE fall it is my MOST favorite time of year....I love the cool weather during the days and the even cooler weather at night....what I tend to dislike, however, (since I have become a mother anyway) is the transition between summer and fall. For a person that is hot natured this transition time is wonderful to say the least....but as a hot natured mother who is responsible for dressing others it can become quite confusing and rather easy to either over dress or under dress my children. My girls are not hot natured...matter of fact they are generally complaining about being cold (which may have something to do with the person dressing them :-) This is something I try to remember and keep in mind when picking their clothes for the day, but I inevitably misjudge which clothes to choose during this transition time and am usually the mom that gets "the looks" for sending or taking her children out on a cold day without a jacket or putting them in shorts because there is not snow on the ground. I have also found that being hot natured tends to be worse at night....I LOVE to be cold when I am sleeping...I want to have to snuggle up under the covers.....I love to have the fan on full blast blowing cool air all over the room.....but since I am married to someone who is cold in nature and has allergies this rarely happens....my husband HATES air blowing in his face and he HATES to be cold....well too bad for him he married me and I am HOT 90% of the time. We argued about the fan in the beginning but I think we have both learned to compromise and meet in the middle (or medium in this case) as we usually sleep with the fan on medium (well sometimes I patiently wait until after he falls asleep so I can sneak and give that sting an extra pull....I can't help it...I am hot!) But I guess I can live with medium air...after all it's way better than no air at all....now if only my children were old enough to dress themselves some of life's problems would be solved...and the summer to fall transition would be a little easier for people like me.

Bringing Down The Baby Gate

Every since Paige became mobile we have had to watch her like a hawk and the majority of the time she has had to be confined with a baby gate. We have completely "Paige" proofed her room....I say Paige proofed because this little Houdini child of mine can undo any kind of baby proof contraption on the market...but in her room we have locked her closet door....bolted the TV and the dresser to the wall and moved everything to the highest shelf in the room. So when we are not outside playing or watching her every move she spends A LOT of time in her room behind the baby gate where she is safe...basically from herself...and able to play as she wishes. I know this isn't the ideal solution, but guaranteed one afternoon with this child would prove my point. She gets into everything...things you would never think she would get into or even be able to get to for that matter and she is quicker than lighting. She is like Dennis the menace on a sugar rush. Yesterday alone I caught her running with scissors (that were put up on the shelf that she used a kitchen bar stool to get to) and before we could get them put up I caught her with a thumb tack in her mouth (that she climbed on the bed in my room to reach the bulletin bored to find) all within a matter of two minutes. I think it would be completely impossible to Paige proof the whole house and I can't watch her every single second...well I suppose I could....but that really is beside the point I am trying to make here. The point is up until now you really couldn't reason with her, but she is just now getting to the age where she actually understands and comprehends that what she is doing is generally wrong (and still does it anyway) so I think it is time we can bring down the baby gate and instill some discipline instead. I am not sure how things are going to go without a baby gate, but with any hope at all I can keep her unharmed and keep my sanity all at the same time...or is that just wishful thinking on my part...well in any case, today I will bring down the baby gate and unleash the wrath that is Paige! We may have to pad the walls and throw away all our belongings but somehow we will make it out of the terrible two's alive. Wish us luck...I think we are going to need it :-)

It Was A Blue Star Kind Of Day

Brooke brings home a "communication folder" everyday and that is my way of knowing how her day went. They get a certain color star in their folder every day based on their behavior. Most days are "green days"...green means that they had a great day....so I am always VERY happy when she brings home a green. Lately, however, she has been getting color changes to yellow (which means she had an "okay" day) for talking. Everyday when she gets in the car before we even pull out of the parking lot I check her folder. I can always tell what she got before I even look because on green days she hops in and proudly exclaims "Go ahead look at my folder" and on yellow days she hops in and it is more like a "You don't have to check my folder today"....she has even "forgot" to bring her folder home on one of her yellow days!! Well yesterday I go to pick her up from school and I just knew she had a good day because yesterday was grandparents day and my wonderfully awesome dad went and ate lunch with her in the cafeteria...it was all she had talked about all week...she was so excited. So yesterday she hoped in the car and before I look in the folder or anything I ask her how lunch with grandpa went and she says "It went really good, but can you PLEASE look in my folder!!" She didn't want to talk about ANYTHING until I looked in that folder so I was excited and just knew that she got another green star.....BUT when I open the folder and look at her star it's not green at all....IT IS BLUE...blue just happens to be one star UP from green and pretty uncommon...it means that she was commended on her behavior that day. Her folder said that she got a blue star for being a very, very kind friend. She said that a little boy fell out of his chair and she ran over and helped him up and made sure that he was okay. Talk about a proud mommy moment!! She was bursting from the seams with excitement because she just knew that I was going to be SO PROUD of her....which of course I was!!! So in appreciation of my "proundness" and her BLUE STAR we went to McDonald's for ice cream...we all got an ice cream cone but she got hers dipped in chocolate, which to her was the coolest thing ever. What an awesome day to be a mama!!

Oh Cataracts How I Loathe You

It happened about four years ago...my vision started to slowly decrease and I made an appointment to go get my eyes checked and hopefully some contacts. I had chalked it up to staring at a computer screen for all of my days...or sitting to close to the tv...all the cliche things you hear people talk about. So I figured I would get glasses or contacts and whola it would all be better. So I walk into my appointment and sit down in the chair when the doctor looks into my eyes I am a little disturbed by what he says...it went a little something like this.... "Oh my gosh...unbeleiveable...I just can't believe that.." All the while I am thinking....hey buddy I am still here and now I am just slightly starting to freak out so do you think you can fill me in on what is going on in my eyes that is so unbelievable?!!!?!!! He then tells me that I have what is known as Posterior Sub capsular Cataracts and all the oohing and aahing is because I am the youngest person he has even seen have it. Well first things first I made him write that diagnosis down because obviously I had never heard of it and first thing when I got home I was going to have a question and answer session with my dear friend Google. I then asked him...so what does this mean..what do we do about it? He says...well I don't do anything about it you will have to see a specialist and based on how quickly it is progressing you are going to have to have surgery, BUT (of course there was a but this is MY life after all) I typically see that doctors like to wait until you are about 40 to do the surgery because your eyes are not done developing and I am not sure how it will affect them...plus you will forever be in reading glasses. Now tell me that's not a lot of information to process at the age of 23... not only can I not see, I will have to have surgery (ON MY EYES NONE THE LESS!!) and now will forever be in a pair of reading glasses...not contacts that you leave in and forget about reading glasses that you have to carry with you every second of the day just in case you need to read something. So I of course procrastinated (that's what I do) just hoping that maybe I would wake up one day and it would be gone but to no such avail matter of fact it actually got worse...much, much worse...so I made an appointment with a specialist. She looked at my eyes and confirmed what the last doctor had said and promptly went into the hall way to talk to her co-workers about how she could not believe it and I was the youngest one she had seen with cataracts at this stage...all the while I am sitting on the other side of the door thinking to myself...Hey there lady I am going blind not deaf and I can hear every single word you are saying. So anyway when they were finished gossiping she came in and she said that yes I will have to have surgery but she was not in a hurry to do it since it was only her first time to see me and she wasn't real sure how fast it was progressing. Fast forward a few months and it got even worse although I wasn't sure it could. I wanted a second opinion and went to a wonderful doctor who didn't scare the crap out of me or go in the hallway to talk about me. What he did do however was schedule my surgery...like right then for like one week away. I remember sitting in that chair asking if there was any other way, anything else we could try. All of my questions were promptly answered with a no. It had progressed to far and the only fix was surgery. So surgery it was...one eye at a time mind you about a month apart, so I just kept thinking...Lord let this go smoothly because if not when it comes time to do the second eye I will be like trying to get the dog in the bathroom to take a bath...clinging on to the hospital doors. Well surgery day came and went and then I had the next eye done....and believe it or not for someone cutting your eye open it really wasn't to bad. :-) It has now been two years this month since my cataracts surgery and my vision is no longer cloudy, but it will never be the same. You see when they took out my lens and replaced it with a what I like to call "fake" lens, my eyes essentially went from bifocals (being able to see far and close) to being monofocal...which means I do need reading glasses but since I hate them I try to slide by without them which inevitably means I can't read most things clearly. Not being able to see up close turns things like plucking your eye brows or trimming your childs finger nails into very interesting tasks. I also can't see at night, I used to LOVE driving at night with the windows down and the radio up...now I don't drive at night unless I absolutely have to and when I do there is a lot of praying involved. I was the youngest one they had ever seen with cataracts and to think I was only going in to get some contacts!

Car Seat Turned Roller Coaster

First of all let me just say that this summer here in Texas has been HOT and that may be an understatement! We have been in the triple digits for what seems like an eternity and as for wind well that word has just kind of fallen out of our vocabulary here this summer. Well over the last week or so we have seen the end of the tunnel and are starting to realize that fall will be here soon...(THANK YOU GOD!!)...the weather has started to cool off, we have had some much needed rain...and the wind has peaked its little head back into our days. So we were driving to church the other night and for the first time in forever I switched the AC off and rolled all the windows down and even opened the sun roof...it felt SO good. I was driving minding my business when from the back seat I hear (over all the wind) muffled screaming..but it wasn't the scared or hurt kind of screams it was more of a joyful fun kind of screaming so I turn my head real quick to see what is happening to find Brooke with both hands in the air screaming because she is pretending that she is on a roller coaster. I am pretty sure I almost wrecked my car from laughing so hard. This little girl has NEVER rode a roller coaster BUT she brings either me or her dad the tape measure about once a week on a regular basis and asks to be measured because she is "patiently" awaiting the day when she is tall enough to go to six flags. She just can't wait to be tall enough, but I suppose until she is tall enough her car seat will just have to suffice.

Play Group Is My Sanity

We have been part of a playgroup for over a year now. Right after I quit my job I started hunting for a way to stay busy and a way to meet some other mommas. In that hunt I found and joined this wonderfully awesome play group and we started going to fun things at least a few times a week. Through the play group I have met some WONDERFUL people and dear friends. Last November we moved at least 45 minutes away from our play group and our friends, but being stubborn and all I have not wanted to give up play group....even though we can only go two or three times a month because it is so far and even though there is a waiting list of moms waiting to get into this group (that could probably go more than twice a month). I just COULDN'T give up play group because play group IS my sanity. Play group gets me out of the house and while I haven't been able to go all the time I still know in the back of my head that it is an option. Play group is mommy interaction and adult conversation...NO WAY could I give up play group!!! When we first moved I went onto the meetup site and looked to see if there was a play group that was near us but to no avail (these moms out here didn't know what they were missing!!!) So for the last year or so I have just been driving 45 minutes to play dates (I am was not kidding about not giving it up!!) Well yesterday I just happened to on a whim check the meetup site again and guess what???!!! There is a NEW play group that is right here where we live so I applied to join the group and within five minutes of sending in the request I was accepted to the group and RSVP'd for our very first play date. We will be able to go a few times a week since we only have to drive about five minutes and we will meet some new friends that actually live by us. I am sure you can imagine my excitement now that I have the potential to have my sanity back full time.

Life Stinks With A Broken Car

Well I have had my car for a little over a year now and it has been great. We paid $1200 cash for this car and what we got for the money seemed to be amazing compared to some of the things we looked at. Until this past week we have not had any problems with it, but about a week ago I started noticing that it wasn't driving like it normally did and things started to get worse and finally on Wednesday I knew we had a major problem on our hands. It was the T word...the one thing in your car that you never want to break because it is generally a huge pain to fix...my transmission is going out. This happened at the most inopportune time because I HAVE to drive my car...my daughter just started school and I have to get her to and from school so for the last two days every time I drive my car it is like playing a game of Russian Roulette and I just hope that I am going to make it back home. Needless to say I have not been driving anywhere the past two days and it has been the pits!! It is one thing to stay home because I want to stay home...it is a whole nother thing to stay home because I have to stay home. Why is it that when things like this happen you all of a sudden think of a million things you need to get done? We are going to go look at cars tomorrow but that even pain stakes me more because that means the dreaded car payment that I have flipped over backward trying to prevent, but I suppose that a car payment is a small price to pay for freedom. Not to mention that when you play Russian Roulette sooner or later you lose and I am quite sure that doesn't sound appealing to me at all.

Maybe He Has A Different Plan

When I quit my job over a year ago I was very content in my decision and I was convinced I had life "figured" out. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and there was no doubt in my mind. WELL...over the past few months I have had this feeling...this very nagging feeling like I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing anymore...a longing for something more...or maybe just something different. I have really enjoyed spending the last year with my girls, but Brooke is in school now and Paige desperately needs to be in some sort of structured program. The only problem is I don't know where that leaves me. I wish the feeling that I am having came along with an instruction manual so I knew for sure that where I end up is where I am supposed to be. Since it doesn't come with a manual of any type I have to put my trust in God and lean on Him in this time and I can't help but know that the feeling that is weighing on my heart is his way of telling me that maybe just maybe he has a different plan. After much consideration I have decided to take the semester off of school so I can figure things out and get the girls settled into school and routine. I plan to start looking for a job or at least a way to spend my time, so here's to hoping the rest just somehow falls into place!

The First Day of The Rest of Her Life

Yesterday was Brooke's very first day of Kindergarten. She woke up at 6 am, which is generally unheard of from her, and was so excited because as she told me "It's my BIG day." I knew she would be just fine...after all she pretty much grew up in day care and she loves going to Sunday school....so we pull into the parking lot and park the car and as we are walking into the school she is showing every single person that will look at her the lunch box that she picked out. She got to her class and put her things away like she had been there a million times before...sat in her desk and proceeded to tell me she was ready for me to leave. So I did what any mama would do...I kissed the heck out of her and I left....as I was walking out to my car I felt what might be a few tears trying to come out but I didn't cry...I was so proud of her....my little girl did so good!! We all went to pick her up yesterday, she really enjoyed that!!! She told us all about her day and all the rules of the school. She said she only cried for a minute at rest time because she missed me but that she loved it and could not wait to go back!! Paige spent the whole day yesterday looking for Brooke...I think she thought we were giving children away and suspected she might be next because she walked around going "Brooke, you come out NOW, come out NOW!!!" and saying to me "I can't find her, I can't find her"....she was very relieved I am sure when we went and picked her up and realized she was only at school. I spent my day trying to figure out what to do...it was very strange to not have Brooke here but even more than that it was strange to have to watch the clock and know that I had to be somewhere by 3:00...since I quit my job there have been MANY days that we have not left the house at all let alone twice a day so that was weird, but all in all I would say it was a very successful first day of school. This morning when I took her I asked her if she wanted me to walk her inside again and without hesitation she said, "I can do it by myself MOTHER"....Mother what the heck is that...did my five year old go to sleep and wake up a teenager?!!! Well I guess I have to embrace the fact that my baby is growing up...but I don't have to be happy about it do I?

Women Of Faith

I spent the weekend in downtown Dallas for Women of Faith. I went with a group from my church....if you have never been I encourage you to go as I had a wonderful time. Here are my thoughts and experience while I was there: Friday afternoon me and two of the girls from Sunday School drove to downtown and checked into our hotel. The hotel we stayed in was very nice, it had a beach theme so all of the colors were very cheery and uplifting (and the bed was so comfortable that if it fit in my purse I may have brought it home!) After we checked in we caught the shuttle and were headed for the American Airlines center. Friday nights session lasted from 7-10 and we heard from Lisa Harper: her testimony was awesome and the way she delivered it was very comical...I really enjoyed hearing from her. We also got to have a concert from Natalie Grant...if I am being honest prior to this experience I did not know who she was so I was, but I was thoroughly impressed....she is very talented and you can just tell that she is a very nice and genuine person....she was also pregnant so I must give her kudos for even being there!! When we left for the night we got to see the 10 o'clock news live which was a really neat experience for me...we took the shuttle back to our hotel where we stayed up til midnight chatting :-) We woke up Saturday morning (thanks to my phones alarm clock...and then my phone falling on the floor breaking into six pieces...Sorry again Linda and Cari) got ready checked out of the hotel and drove back to the American Airlines Center after the detour to McDonald's for breakfast and coffee that is. Saturday we got to hear from Sheila Walsh...who I loved....about her experience in life and some very low points that she eventually overcame because of God's love. We heard from Karen James and her account of losing her husband and the love of her life in the tragic accident on Mt. Hood in 2006 (should have had a whole box of Kleenex for this one)...We heard from Luci Swindoll who is hilarious and Michelle Aguilar who won season 6 of the biggest loser and her life experience coming from a broken home....We also had the privilege of watching Nicole Johnson's monologues...which were nothing short of amazing. We had another concert from Mary Mary...if you have never heard of them I strongly urge you to listen...they were awesome and I will be buying their CD in the near future!! Throughout the whole thing I laughed and I cried but I enjoyed myself and I enjoyed having a weekend with some of my church family and feel very blessed to have had the chance to attend Women of Faith this year and hope that I will be able to go next year :-)

She is SO ready, Me...Ummm...yeah...NOT so much!!

Well we had meet the teacher and curriculum night for Brooke tonight. I met her teacher (whom I loved)...saw her classroom (LOVE HER SCHOOL!!!) and we got to hear about EVERYTHING they are going to do and learn throughout the year (completely overwhelming!!) and yet I still can't believe that she starts kindergarten on Monday!! Most moms are sad when their kids start kindergarten and if I am being real honest I am a little sad also but if I am being even more honest...above all I am scared and overwhelmed.....when they started talking about the curriculum and telling me that my child who as of now knows next to nothing (okay she is pretty smart but still!!!) will in the next six weeks be taking spelling tests and reading books....I had to physically make sure that my chin was not on the ground. We have to sign papers and do homework and make sure they are in the dress code and they have lunch money and return their library books.....I once sent Brooke to day care wearing only one shoe....seriously that happened....don't ask how cause I can't answer but does it even really matter?? she literally only wore one shoe.....and I didn't even have two kids at the time and I wasn't in school so it is a lot of pressure on me now to make sure that she not only has both shoes on but that they are the appropriate shoes for gym class and that they are tied because NO Ms. Kindergarten teacher she does not know how to tie her shoes yet (maybe we should buy Velcro!) My crazy life is about to get even crazier and I know the next few weeks and even months are going to be an adjustment period for us all....I think I need to go buy some sticky notes or something!

O-U-T-R-A-G-E-D

As I watched the news last night a story caught my attention. It was a story of a man who is up for parole here in Texas. He is presently incarcerated for intoxication manslaughter...On December 18, 1998 Ricky Carter drank enough alcohol for his blood alcohol reading to be .16...that is DOUBLE the limit here in Texas....he then decided to get behind the wheel of his vehicle and drive....this decision resulted in a head on collision that killed four teenage girls. I read the account of the second responding officer and this story saddens my heart to its very depth. No parent should have to bury their child...let alone bury their unrecognizable child that died due to complete and udder negligence. Ricky Carter was sentenced to 20 years...which so happens to be the maximum sentence for his charge...which I must give credit where credit is due for giving him the max....BUT 20 years for FOUR lives seems so very, very unfair. Well it has been TWELVE years and Mr. Carter is up for parole...PAROLE are you kidding me!!! I am O-U-T-R-A-G-E-D!!!!! As a mother my heart sincerely goes out to the parents and families who lost their daughters because of his idiotic decision. People call this an accident....a tragic accident....well tragic indeed, but accident no way...no how...Ricky Carter CHOOSE to drink and CHOOSE to drive and now there are four families that have to consequently pay for his decision. I know that ultimately Ricky Carter will pay for his decision and I am no one to judge and I know that this is by far not the only case where innocent lives have been lost because of drunk driving....This world is unjust and unfair and I for one find complete peace knowing that people like Ricky Carter will ultimately serve more than 20 years and that the innocent lives of the girls that were taken are now very much living out their eternal life. Check out keeprickycarterinjail.com for more information.

Wasting Time...That's What I Do!

I have a slight confession to make...I am newly obsessed with reading mommy blogs...I can't begin to tell you the time I have lost due to this new "hobby"....sorry laundry, housework, children and other miscellaneous things I am neglecting....this mama seems to have found yet another way to waste her time...as if I really have time to waste. I can't help it, I find most of them hilarious and I must admit they make me feel a little closer to normal....and ANYTHING that makes my life feel normal is good in my book! When I am not reading mommy blogs you can generally find me on facebook, checking my email, perusing craigslist, googling many things for various reasons, or watching stupid shows on TLC such as a baby story or I didn't know I was pregnant....I apparently have no problem what so ever wasting time. Procrastination (although I am not proud of it) is one thing that I have mastered in my days. Well Brooke starts school on Monday and me and the little one start school the following week so my summer and days of lounging are rapidly coming to an end so I guess I better wrap this post up so I can get back to doing what I do best while I still have time to waste.

My Best Friends Couch

My best friend, Carissa, and I have been friends for over 10 years now. We have seen each other through many things good and bad over the years. She is so much more than a friend to me and even more than a sister she is my soulmate in friend form and I am forever grateful that she is a part of my life. There are many times that I can think of in my life that I may not have made it through had it not been for her. She is the absolute best friend that anyone could have and she would do anything at all for anyone. Since I have been married and especially since I have had kids there have been numerous times that I have literally run away to Carissa's couch (many times unannounced)....her couch is my safe, quiet place if you will. It doesn't matter if we talk (and we do!!! there is no subject or topic that is off limits for talk on Carissa's couch) or if we just sit there, there is something about her energy that recharges my batteries just by being around her. We are completely different in many ways, but she understands me better than anyone in this world. Lately our schedules are different and we are both busy with life and I don't get to see her as much as I would like, but I know that she is only a phone call away if I ever need anything and sometimes knowing that is just as good as sitting on her couch!

Mommy Needs A Time Out

There is a very high probability that I am going crazy. I feel like I have a million things to do and yet I have nothing to do and the only thing that I can think about doing is running away from it all. I have contemplated getting in my car and just driving with no real destination in sight. I have also contemplated going to the airport and boarding a plane...who really cares where it is going...I'll figure the rest out when I get where ever it may take me. Life seems to be going a million miles an hour but yet I am standing still. I am a big huge ball of emotion with no real outlet. I am in DESPERATE need of a break or at the very least a time out but in the mommy world this is next to impossible....somebody always needs something and there is almost never a quite moment....so desperate times call for desperate measures. I very quietly and as discreetly as possible went to the bathroom and put my bathing suit on underneath my clothes and walked outside without telling a soul. I then proceeded to get into the swimming pool (by myself!!) and float...there was complete silence (because no one had any idea where I was). I floated by myself for at least 30 minutes before I was discovered...by Brooke none the less. When she came out and jumped in the swimming pool (in her under ware of course...there was not enough time to put on a bathing suit) I simply explained to her that she could swim as long as she was quite because Mommy was having a time out. I am still in a sort of funk but I am a little closer to normal now thanks to my time out!

Is Anybody Listening???????

I am sure that every mother out there has a one time or another dealt with or experienced selective hearing. I am convinced that kids and husbands alike use this as some sort of ploy to break you down and eventually make you crazy. I have heard it said that children are the worst when it comes to selective hearing and while mine are not teenagers yet I can't be 100% sure, but I would have to disagree and say that my husband is the WORLD'S WORST....I kid you not, if there was an award to be won on the subject at hand I am convinced that my husband could be the long standing champion. I tell him things daily and weekly such as upcoming events or things that need to be done...and he (for the most part) communicates with me when I do this...he doesn't just have that glazed over...yeah...uh-huh....hurry up and shut up look on his face....so I generally think he has listened and understands what I am saying....but then he goes to sleep at night and it's almost as if all the information leaks out of his ears onto his pillow never to be remembered again. I am CONSTANTLY reminding and repeating myself to him...sometimes even in the same conversation. It actually and quite literally drives me crazy. Now my children are not angels when it comes to listening by any means either...I am always having to say, "Please turn your listening ears on" or "Are you even paying attention to me"....most days I feel like a broken record. Between my husband and my children I am starting to consider becoming a mute...I can only assume that when you don't talk people still don't listen and that seems like a whole lot less effort on my part and I am certain it would be a gazillion times less annoying. Quite honestly they leave me no other choice.

Good Morning Conversation

This morning as Brooke and I were snuggling in my bed we had a little morning conversation and it went a little something like this...... ME: Brooke what do you think Mommy's are for? BROOKE: Kisses and hugs, making us bubble baths BEFORE sisters wake up, and letting us play outside just a little bit longer. ME: Well Brooke what do you think daddy's are for? BROOKE: Working so hard for us, making money, and for snuggling with us ME: So what do you suppose sisters are for? BROOKE: I really don't want to talk about it!!! I tried really hard not to laugh. They have days were they just love, love, love each other and get along great and then there are the other 364 days of the year :-) I am sure one day though her answer will change and she will be happy to talk about it.

Life

It is so easy to get caught up in daily duties of life (especially for a mother) and that is all I think about. I wake up each day thinking about what I need to get done for the day or even the rest of the week. My brain is always running a million miles an hour in over drive. I thank God everyday for at least something but I hope he knows (I KNOW HE DOES) that no matter how much I forget to thank for, my heart is eternally thankful for each and every thing big and small. There are at least a million things I am thankful for, here are just a few. I am thankful: I have two wonderful, HEALTHY girls (who literally are my heart and soul walking among us), For my family who I can always count on for support and love, That I have a husband who literally works his butt off and does whatever it takes so that I can stay home and be with our children, That my husband would do ANYTHING for his kids, We have a roof over our head, beds to sleep in and food on our table, That I have an amazing church family, I have the most wonderful friends in the world, That my best friend would drop her world if me or my family needed anything at all, Most of all I am thankful to God for blessing me with each of these and putting all these amazing people in my path. When I get caught up in my day to day routine I am only being human but I hope that I never become so caught up that I forget to be thankful for everything that I have in my life and never forget to not take a single thing for granted. Tomorrow is never promised...and if we think about it neither is today.

The Energizer Bunny

Last night we stayed up until after midnight working on the latest project here at the house. Let's just say that 6:30 came way to quickly for me this morning and I did not want to get out of bed...matter of fact I layed there for a good 15 minutes just contemplating my choices....but I decided I would get up and drive to Turbo Kick in hopes that it would wake me up. Well it woke me up for sure but it did not take the tired away so on my way home from the gym I stopped at the local corner store and bought what they title "EXTREME CAFFEINE LATTE"....that's no joke and that is certainly the kind of day I am having! So as I sit here ingesting copious amounts of caffeine I am pondering all the things that need to get done today: 1. I need to take a shower...I just came from Turbo Kick...enough said!! 2. I need to bathe my kids...we skipped it last night due to "the project" and if it is not done soon I am sure to start getting looks and may become "that mother" so this is a must. 3. I need to clean my car out...this is another must due to the fact that we are literally running out of room to sit in there due to the amount of junk that has piled up. 4. I have to plan and get organized for my MOPS meeting tomorrow...or I suppose I could just show up and wing it...that probably isn't the best idea I ever had :-) 5. There is ALWAYS and I repeat ALWAYS cleaning and laundry to do. 6. I have to gather things and get ready for our Mission Friends swim party at church tonight. I am sure there are other things that I can't think of right now...did I mention I am tired. As a mom you are required to keep going and going and going much like the energizer bunny...wouldn't it just be easier if we ran on batteries...that way when they get low you just toss them in the trash and put brand new fully charged ones in their place. Well since we don't I am sure hoping that this extreme caffeine latte does it's job other wise the only thing I may accomplish today is an extreme nap.

So Close Sleep Over

I have an awesome friend, Lisa, who invited Brooke to her house to have a sleep over with her two little girls. Brooke stays the night with her grandparents all the time but this would be her very first sleep over with friends. She was extremely excited and talked about it non-stop for a week. Lisa's girls were equally excited and even spent a whole day making Brooke presents to give her when she came over. So the day finally came and we drove over to their house and Brooke was all but eager for me to leave so she could start her day. She spent the whole day over there...she was there so long that I actually started to miss her :-) Lisa took them to the duck park and let them feed the ducks, they got to go to McDonald's and play....they played dress up....put on a dance show...made a tent...rode bikes outside in the neighborhood...ate pizza...ice cream...cookies and popcorn...they watched a movie and took a shower...got their pj's on brushed their teeth....then Brooke called me to tell me goodnight. Five minutes after I hung up she called back and wanted to come home. I remember when I was young and had sleep overs and you get that feeling in the bottom of your stomach...that can only come with bedtime....and you just can't help but want to come home. So at 9:30 at night I drove to get my little girl...we got in the car and before we were even out of Lisa's subdivision Brooke was passed out cold in the back seat. Even though she didn't make it the whole night...she had an absolute blast and I am very thankful to Lisa for having her over! I know one day she will be able to stay the night away but for now I will just enjoy the fact that my little baby wants to be with her mommy!!

Mean Girl!

I have had problems with Paige for a while. Before she learned to talk she was so frustrated and she took it out on everyone....but usually people smaller than her which unfortunately was pretty much limited to babies. Her motive of operation was generally pushing...you see, there would be kids just minding their own business and at any second she would walk up and just push them down. I am pretty sure I was classified as one of "those" moms and I am sure people dreaded being around us. There was one day I remember being "kicked out" of the gym....I was working out when the lady came and got me and said..."Paige pushed a little girl down and scratched a baby and when the teacher tried to put her in time out she kicked the teacher" YES that really did happen...and what could I say...it's not like I "let" her do these kind of things...truth of the matter was I had no idea what to do about it. She was still to little to really understand what she was doing at the time so there was no reasoning with her. So she pretty much just stayed in trouble and I tried to hide out as much as possible trying to watch and prevent "incidents" before they happened. When she finally started to talk she seemed MUCH happier and a little less mean. I really thought we were making some sort of progress. After all we haven't been kicked out of the gym in a while....they still let us come to playdates and the child care workers at the church have not said too many terribly bad things about her. Well today after service I was gathering up my things when her teacher came over and explained to me that she had scratched another little girl on the face today hard enough to draw blood. As a parent with a mean girl you never really know what to say in situations like this because you truly are sorry but sorry doesn't make the little girls cheek better. Paige starts preschool in three weeks and I am praying that she does good and that being around other kids on a more regular basis will prove to be beneficial for her and hopefully this is just a stage. I don't want to be one of "those" moms and I certainly don't want my "sweet little baby" to be a mean girl.

Monday Funday

Today has been such a wonderful day!! I woke up this morning at 5am (which I SHOULD do all the time but really struggle with)...was able to do a devotion and start some laundry....all before the girls woke up!! When they did get up they ate breakfast and got dressed and we headed off to the gym. One thing that has come with staying home for me anyway is weight gain...I am by no means okay with that so I vowed this week to make it to Turbo Kick all week...which is also something I struggle with because the Turbo Kick instructor is intense and has a TON of energy...which scares me :-) But as it turns out I had an AWESOME time so it should be easy to make it for the rest of the week. After the gym we headed over to a friends house to swim, play and have lunch. That is one of the coolest things that has come from joining the playgroup...meeting wonderful people I probably wouldn't have otherwise. We spent the whole day over there and had an absolute blast. By the time we left there my two children who NEVER nap were passed out in the car before we even got on the highway!! They slept the whole way home and have just been lounging around watching tv since we got home. They are successfully worn out!!! I still have a kitchen to clean...laundry to fold and other chores that I don't plan on doing today...but my girls (AND ME) had a fun and wonderful day and it is days like today that make me that much more thankful to be able to be home with my girls!!!

Please STOP Growing!!!

I still remember the day that I found out I was pregnant with my first child (Brooke)...October 31, 2004. In a matter of seconds my life as I had known it had changed and in that few seconds I felt just about every emotion that one can feel...I was sad because my life was changing...I was excited and happy and scared....I was going to be a mom and my life would NEVER be the same. I remember my pregnancy very well and I remember the day we found out it was a girl (then I was REALLY excited). I remember the day that she was born and the first time I held her....matter of fact I don't think that child got put down one time while we were at the hospital...I was one proud mama...she was perfect...and I was right my life would never be the same from that day on. Well in three weeks my little "baby" is starting kindergarten and here I am feeling that same wave of emotions I felt on October 31, 2004. She is really excited to start school and I am excited and happy for her. I am also sad...I am sad that we won't get to snuggle at nap time (or anytime I want) and I am sad that our days won't be the same as they have been...and (like any mama I suppose) I am scared. I don't want her to be independent...I want her to need her mommy :-( I asked her last night as we were snuggled up in my bed watching a movie together if she could just stop growing and stay with mommy forever and she replied (as she rolled her eyes and let out a huge sigh), "I sure wish I could!" She has NO idea how much I wish she could to. I feel like it was October 31, 2004 just yesterday and yet she has grown so much. She has the sweetest heart of any little girl and I am so proud and THANKFUL to be her mommy, but can she please stop growing!!!

Mommy-Daughter Date

Brooke has been asking me for weeks if we can have a girls night out...well today the hubby had to work so I called up the best grandpa in the world and asked him if Paige could spend the afternoon at his house. He said yes (of course) so after we dropped her off me and Brooke were off for our mommy daughter date. Or as she titled it, "the most fabulous day ever!!!" We went and saw Despicable Me in 3D.....which by the way was the first 3D movie I have ever been to and I have to say it was a pretty neat experience. The movie was really cute....we ate pop corn and drank soda and we even put up the arm rest so we could snuggle during the movie. There were only two other people in the whole theater....and we had a blast....it really was a fabulous day!! I just love that little girl!

The Little Perks

One of the best things that has come with the opportunity to stay home is permission to be tired! When I was working...I was T-I-R-E-D....no doubt about it...but no matter how tired I was if I skipped a beat even for one second I was behind on something. Now that I stay home if I am tired I can sleep an extra hour...if like last night...it takes TWO extra hours to get the kids to sleep and I don't get into bed until midnight it is not the end of the world. If the house is not perfect and the laundry is still stacked on the couch when I crawl into bed at night it is okay because I can do it tomorrow. Don't get me wrong staying home is not all glitz and glam (matter of fact most days it is far from it) but it certainly does have its little perks and I never thought I would be so thankful for the opportunity to just be tired!

1 Car, 2 Nights, 3 Days, 4 People= ROAD TRIP

We just got home yesterday from a nice little road trip. My younger brother and I took the girls on a 4 hour road trip to see my grandparents. It was my dads dad and step mom and his grandma. My great grandma is 84 years old so every time she gets a chance to see my kids I am thankful because most people never know their great grandma let alone their GREAT GREAT Grandma!! They live on one plot of land but have two houses and I remember going there to visit as a little kid so I love that my kids now get a chance to have some of the same memories. Well after I coned my brother into going so I didn't have to take two kids alone we hit the road. We got there about 2 O'clock on Monday afternoon and the first thing we did when we walked in the door was eat....if there is one thing you will never be at my grandparents house it is hungry. My grandpa had made a ham with veggies and corn bread for lunch....my kids are lucky to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so I am pretty sure at this point they were thinking about moving in. Then after lunch he announced that he had banana pudding, jello and fruit cocktail, three different kinds of pie and a freezer full of blue bell for dessert. Well if they didn't already want to move in I am pretty certain I lost them at that point. We spent the rest of the evening visiting and watching the girls play. Brooke got to get her face (and arms since one wasn't enough) painted and they colored and punched holes in paper and just made a big ol' mess. Tuesday we woke up and my papa cooked bacon, sausage and pancakes (there was enough food to feed a small army)...we ate and then I took a nap (hey I am used to a bowl of cereal not a five course breakfast) and my brother hung out with the girls. Then I woke up to my papa BACK in the kitchen frying chicken tenders and drumsticks with mac and cheese and veggies....at this point I was wishing I had brought some sweat pants along for the ride! Then after lunch my brother and me went into town to clean out the car (because we parked right under an ant colony...and apparently ants+kids that eat food in the car do not mix too well) and such while my grandparents watched the girls. Me and the girls spent the rest of the evening at my great grandmas house, painting nails, cleaning up, talking and of course eating. Wednesday we woke up and papa cooked eggs, bacon, sausage and toast...after we ate we loaded the car gave kisses and hugs and headed back home. I am fortunate enough to have all of my grandparents except for one still alive....I am even more fortunate that my great grandma has been able to be such a big part in my life and is still here with us. You know what that means though.....my kids have EIGHT sets of grandparents....that is pretty awesome if you ask me. We had an awesome time visiting...relaxing and eating. I am, however, glad to be home and now it is back to the real world...and the gym :-)