Mommy-Daughter Date

Brooke has been asking me for weeks if we can have a girls night out...well today the hubby had to work so I called up the best grandpa in the world and asked him if Paige could spend the afternoon at his house. He said yes (of course) so after we dropped her off me and Brooke were off for our mommy daughter date. Or as she titled it, "the most fabulous day ever!!!" We went and saw Despicable Me in 3D.....which by the way was the first 3D movie I have ever been to and I have to say it was a pretty neat experience. The movie was really cute....we ate pop corn and drank soda and we even put up the arm rest so we could snuggle during the movie. There were only two other people in the whole theater....and we had a blast....it really was a fabulous day!! I just love that little girl!

The Little Perks

One of the best things that has come with the opportunity to stay home is permission to be tired! When I was working...I was T-I-R-E-D....no doubt about it...but no matter how tired I was if I skipped a beat even for one second I was behind on something. Now that I stay home if I am tired I can sleep an extra hour...if like last night...it takes TWO extra hours to get the kids to sleep and I don't get into bed until midnight it is not the end of the world. If the house is not perfect and the laundry is still stacked on the couch when I crawl into bed at night it is okay because I can do it tomorrow. Don't get me wrong staying home is not all glitz and glam (matter of fact most days it is far from it) but it certainly does have its little perks and I never thought I would be so thankful for the opportunity to just be tired!

1 Car, 2 Nights, 3 Days, 4 People= ROAD TRIP

We just got home yesterday from a nice little road trip. My younger brother and I took the girls on a 4 hour road trip to see my grandparents. It was my dads dad and step mom and his grandma. My great grandma is 84 years old so every time she gets a chance to see my kids I am thankful because most people never know their great grandma let alone their GREAT GREAT Grandma!! They live on one plot of land but have two houses and I remember going there to visit as a little kid so I love that my kids now get a chance to have some of the same memories. Well after I coned my brother into going so I didn't have to take two kids alone we hit the road. We got there about 2 O'clock on Monday afternoon and the first thing we did when we walked in the door was eat....if there is one thing you will never be at my grandparents house it is hungry. My grandpa had made a ham with veggies and corn bread for lunch....my kids are lucky to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so I am pretty sure at this point they were thinking about moving in. Then after lunch he announced that he had banana pudding, jello and fruit cocktail, three different kinds of pie and a freezer full of blue bell for dessert. Well if they didn't already want to move in I am pretty certain I lost them at that point. We spent the rest of the evening visiting and watching the girls play. Brooke got to get her face (and arms since one wasn't enough) painted and they colored and punched holes in paper and just made a big ol' mess. Tuesday we woke up and my papa cooked bacon, sausage and pancakes (there was enough food to feed a small army)...we ate and then I took a nap (hey I am used to a bowl of cereal not a five course breakfast) and my brother hung out with the girls. Then I woke up to my papa BACK in the kitchen frying chicken tenders and drumsticks with mac and cheese and veggies....at this point I was wishing I had brought some sweat pants along for the ride! Then after lunch my brother and me went into town to clean out the car (because we parked right under an ant colony...and apparently ants+kids that eat food in the car do not mix too well) and such while my grandparents watched the girls. Me and the girls spent the rest of the evening at my great grandmas house, painting nails, cleaning up, talking and of course eating. Wednesday we woke up and papa cooked eggs, bacon, sausage and toast...after we ate we loaded the car gave kisses and hugs and headed back home. I am fortunate enough to have all of my grandparents except for one still alive....I am even more fortunate that my great grandma has been able to be such a big part in my life and is still here with us. You know what that means though.....my kids have EIGHT sets of grandparents....that is pretty awesome if you ask me. We had an awesome time visiting...relaxing and eating. I am, however, glad to be home and now it is back to the real world...and the gym :-)

I Found God In My Mailbox

I have not always been a Christian....I did not grow up in church...not to say that my parents did not tell us about God because they did, but going to church was just not something that we did regularly. In 2006 my husband and I were at a very low point in our relationship and I was lost...confused and ready to give up but there were a few things I KNEW ... I KNEW that we had only been married for less than a year....I KNEW we had a one year old daughter and I KNEW that out of all the things I wanted to be in life a single mother was not one of them. That much I KNEW but I had NO freaking idea what to do about any of it. One day as I opened up my mailbox I discovered that someone had put a postage stamp on a flyer and mailed me a little piece of hope. Inside my mailbox there was a flyer for an upcoming sermon at a nearby church. I have seen these types of flyers a million times and each one found a nice cozy home in the bottom of my trash can. This flyer was different...I felt it and I KNEW it. The upcoming sermon was titled "How To Save ANY Relationship"....I took that very flyer to my office and put it on my desk and spent the next few days just staring at it. I KNEW I had a lot to lose but I didn't realize at the time what all I had to gain. I KNEW my husband would not go with me so one phone call to my mom later and Sunday morning we were sitting in the pew. I KNOW it wasn't the sermon that changed my life and my heart but it was God. I have come along way since that Sunday morning. I have joined a church...met some AMAZING people....learned to pray (THANK GOD FOR PRAYER!!!!) and I was even baptized. I don't always know why he does what he does but what I do KNOW is that my life is RADICALLY different and will NEVER be the same all because I checked my mail one day. Ain't God awesome!!!

The Dog Days Of Summer

My daughters birthday and mine are two days apart and my grandparents tend to spoil us...so this year when we got our birthday money we tried to decide how to spend it (my daughter usually buys another toy she doesn't really need and I tend to spend it on stuff I want but would never buy myself) but this year we decided to buy a pool that the whole family could use. So one Saturday my husband set out to Academy and bought a metal frame above ground pool...It's 15' around and 4' deep so it's not much but it certainly does the job. He then brought a machine home from work to level the ground and spent the next THREE days installing and filling the pool...well let me tell you...to two children that want to go swimming...being able to look out your window and see a pool that you can't get in make three days seem like a lifetime. On the last day my youngest actually sat in her window (after she put her bathing suit on and cried over and over "its no fair, its no fair." So after three very long days we all jumped in and if I could make a list of all the things I have accomplished since that pool has gone up...I wouldn't need paper or a pen because the list is INCREDIBLY short. Yesterday when my husband got back into his truck at the end of the day he sent me a text message of the temp display in the car and it said 131 degrees....now I know that it wasn't really 131 degrees outside but some days it sure does feel like it!! Here in Texas we spend the winters hoping for summer and we spend the summer...in...on...or around any water we can possibly find. The pool was definitely a good investment...not so much for productivity but it has done wonders in our quest to have fun and beat the heat!

I'm From The Days Of Lemonade Stands

Yesterday morning I was sitting on the couch folding clothes when Brooke came and asked me if she could have some dish soap...well of course my response was FOR WHAT exactly...she tells me...Well I really just wanted to wash my bike. Whelp there it was simple as that and how the heck could I say no...after all I used to wash my bike when I was little. So I got her some soap and she got a bucket and a rag and spent her morning washing (or rather making a mess of) her bike. Just standing there watching her my mind was flooded with memories...I grew up in Missouri...we had an awesome (I still say haunted) house on a culdesac...I had just about the best child hood that a kid could ask for...I have a ton of awesome memories from Missouri...my little brother and me...well we just got to be kids...all I remember from my childhood is playing...there was a bunch of kids on our culdesac (but only ONE other girl) and we were all friends (most of the time)...so we spent afternoons outside (until the street light came on and then you BETTER have your butt back in that house) playing...we played kick ball and freeze tag...we played tv tag and hide and go seek...we built a tree house (with wood that we "borrowed" from a neighbor down the creek...we played in the creek (but we never told our parents)...we went sledding in the winter and in the summer we turned our HUGE city trash cans into "swimming pools"...We washed our bikes...and RODE them EVERYWHERE!!! And we had lemonade stands...our moms would make pitchers of lemonade and we really sat at the end of our culdesac (BY OURSELVES) and sold our lemonade...and people really did buy it. The only other girl on the street was (and will always be) one of my dearest friends...we grew up on the culdesac and that will forever bond us. I can only hope to leave my girls with memories like I have. It makes me sad that the world is so different these days...I wish everyone could be from the days of lemonade stands!

Then There's Days Like This

We got an early start this morning and before I knew it we were making the drive to go see a magician with the play group. Brooke has talked about it for days non stop. Of course we were running late so we get there and the show has already started but we go in anyway and we get to stay for all of 15 minutes before I couldn't handle Paige any more. So I bribed Brooke with ice cream and we left. I wasn't ready to go home yet (because I just drove 40 minutes) so I decided we would stop by my old work and say hi to everyone. Brooke LOVES going up there because she gets candy and gets to play on the type writer. Paige loves going up there because it is a whole new environment to get into stuff. I love going up there because I miss everyone dearly!! I worked there for four years and loved (just about) every second of it! I could not have asked for a better boss or co-workers, so it is nice to go up there and see everyone. But every time I leave after visiting when I should be happy...I can't help but be bummed. Going up there and seeing everyone and the changes to the office and everything just makes me miss the place. I spent four years of my life at that place..it was almost like home (I probably spent more time there than my actual house)...and the people became like family. The last six months that I worked there were rough on everyone...my kids were sick ALL the time...and when they weren't sick...I was...I had two hospital stays in that time and I have NEVER been to the doctor so much. I was letting my co-workers down to be with my kids and when I would go to work I felt like I was neglecting my kids....it was a bad situation all together and I know I made the right decision...(God can only give you so many signs ya know!!!)...and I am forever grateful for the chance to watch my children grow and be part of their everyday lives....but days like this I miss my job and my co-workers and I suppose if you twisted my arm behind my back I would say that I even miss my lunch break!!

Can Someone PLEASE Change The Channel?

After I had my first daughter I would see pregnant ladies and little babies and just feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now after having been pregnant twice and having the special little toddler that I do...I see pregnant ladies and actually think to myself....Thank you God because that is not me!! Don't get me wrong I love babies, I have a seven month old nephew (and a little niece on the way) and I just love to hold that baby and love on him and then pass him back on to his parents. I am so thankful that my body is mine again, I am thankful to be almost done changing diapers and I am even more thankful for nights full of sleep. I love my girls and I am happy and content with my life the way it is right now...so can someone PLEASE tell me why I have spent my morning watching Bringing Home Baby on TLC?? I am getting up RIGHT now to find the remote!

Excuse Me Do You Have The Time?

My little sister is on summer vacation and she just so happens to be 15 years old and is at the age where she likes to babysit because...well I suppose she likes to have spending money and what else can she really do...or maybe she is just crazy...but who am I to judge..in any case it works out GREAT for me because I am at the age where...well I generally just need a break!! So I talked to her last night and asked her if she wanted to babysit today and she...without hesitation...that only a 15 year old could do...said of course...ahhhhh a whole day to do whatever I wanted or needed to do...how should I ever spend this time. Well my first call, inevitably, was to my bestest friend to see if she was available to have lunch or something...we decided on going to see a movie. So in my head I am already calculating time (I think it is a mother thing or at least a mother who left her children with a babysitter thing)...30 minutes to her house...two hours to see a movie...that leaves me with four and a half hours....I was going to go to the bank...and the gym...and to school to tie up some loose ends before the semester starts....I was going to get all my errands done...all the ones I need to do but don't want to do with two kids (you know the "lunch break" kind)...well I dropped the girls off and was headed to her house...we watched a movie, ate some lunch and before I knew it 7 hours had passed and I needed to go get my children!! Where did my day go? I say all this because when I worked I spent my days at my desk just watching time drag on waiting for the weekend...now that I am not working I spend every day wondering where the heck the time went, the weekend is not a weekend any more it is just an extension of the week and hours turn to days, days to weeks and weeks to months before I have a chance to blink. I would stop to smell the roses but they are flying by too fast. I can't help but wonder if I am the only one living in this time warp that is moving faster than I can keep up.

SO what DOES it feel like??

Two days ago we were riding in the car...it was me driving (of course) with Brooke and Paige in the backseat. Just another normal every day occurance until from the back seat my five year old, Brooke, asks me a simple (to her) question..."Hey mom, how does it feel to have kids?" She didn't know it but at that very second she took my breathe away and made my heart skip a beat...there was no way for one second that I could wrap that up into an answer on a five year old level. So I actually said to her "You know, I don't really know"...and I wasn't lying...I really didn't know how it felt to have kids because...well I never really thought about it...I mean I have been a mom for five years...it is what I am...it defines my character...but I never really thought how it "felt" because...I just couldn't see my life being any other way. I always knew I wanted to be a mom...for as long back as I can remember I have deeply loved children. The funny thing is...you don't really understand how deep love is until you have your own. Looking into the faces of my girls I know whole heartedly without a doubt in the world that God exists. The love that me and my girls have is indescribable. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I thank God everyday for the chance to be their mother...there aren't quite words to describe or even give justice to how that "feels" so after two days of pondering...I still don't have an answer for her.

Kids Will Be Kids!!

Both of my children are equally different in personality as I am sure is the case with most parents. Brooke is a mixture of a tom boy and a girly girl...depending on what day it is she could be playing dress up or carrying around frogs and digging for rolly pollys. And Paige is just Paige there is no real way to describe that child except that she is special...very very special...at times we think she lives in her own world but that is okay we love her just the same :-) Paige has an imagination like no other...she is very creative and expressive. No matter what their personalities may be however, they both just like to have fun. After all they are kids right?!!! Well I try to encourage creativity and above all fun at my house, but I am not too big on messes that tend to come along with creativity and fun...I try...I really really try to just let them do and be but it's hard to watch some things when you know that YOU and ONLY you will be cleaning up the mess!! Well last night we had movie night which is VERY VERY frequent at my house and one of our favorite things to do. So it is coming time to watch our movies of choice for the evening..and Brooke makes a request...."Mom...can I please make a tent in the living room out of blankets." Well for a second my instinct kicked in and I wanted to say no but then something inside me happened and I was taken back to my childhood. You see my brother and me LOVED to build "forts" out of anything really...but it was the coolest thing in the world to put hard work into building something that was yours and only yours NO PARENTS aloud. We actually built a maze fort one time that took up my whole bed room and I still to this day remember how cool it was. So as I stood there and looked upon the face of my five year old I had two choices...#1: I could say no, avoid a mess and be a fun ruiner OR #2: I could say YES and help her build the coolest fort of all forts....so I opted for choice number two...and I helped her build one totally awesome fort not only did we use blankets but we also used every single couch cushion, two bar stools, and the coffee table..it even had a "trap door" that allowed her to peek out and watch her movie. So the living room was in complete shambles and I had to wake up early this morning to clean it up before church but my sweet, sweet Brooke had one heck of a party last night..eating popcorn and watching movies in her very own fort and I am sure she will remember it for some time to come!!! At the end of the day all the messes can be cleaned up but the memories can not be taken away.

It Literally IS Everywhere!!!

Okay so three days ago my oldest (Brooke) comes to me and explains that her little sister is covered from head to toe (her EXACT words) in soap...so I think...great well at least it is soap (yes that thought REALLY did cross my mind). I go to where she is and she is standing in her room rubbing her hands together like she is washing them...I pick her up making sure to hold her no less than 10ft away from me...take her to the bathroom ...turn on the water and proceed to help her rinse the soap off of her hands...arms and rest of her body....only one little problem...when I went to grab her hands I was struck with this harsh reality....this was not soap I was dealing with but it was indeed vaseline...yep that's right vaseline. You know how you wash vaseline off??? Well...you don't...you don't wash it off as a matter of fact there ought to be a disclaimer on the side of the container stating: KEEP AWAY FROM TWO YEAR OLD BECAUSE WHEN IT GETS ON EVERYTHING YOU WILL FIND IT NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAN UP. Because surely if that was written on the side somewhere I would have never even brought the container in the house because...if a two year old can get into something Paige will certainly find a way. So my solution to the problem at hand was to #1. Throw the rest of what was left of the container in the trash..#2: Bathe the kid not once but two times in an effort to make her look not so shiny...And #3: Once the situation was evaluated and the kid was semi clean I then set out with a mixture of pine sol, bleach, dish soap and windex all mixed up in one container and proceed to spray just about everything I could think of that is in a two year olds range of reach and I thought...I really thought I had somewhat removed (at the very least rubbed in) every spot that had vaseline on or near it. So HA problem solved add that into the book of things I have cleaned since Paige started walking. But...for the last three days I have spent my days finding more vaseline...everywhere I turn it is on something else....I know one thing that is banned from the house at least until the toddler years are over...but I am beginning to wonder if we will ever be completely free of vaseline.

Terrible Two's At it's Finest

Paige, Paige, Paige...there are many days I wonder what I am going to do with this child. My oldest was such a good baby and toddler and never got into anything...we hardly had to "baby proof" at all. Paige on the other hand will get into anything...I mean that...everything that her little hands can reach...even if it is with the help of a chair, stool, or any other climbing material she can find...it's all fair game. We have locked cabinets, put the little safety door knobs on, we have used the baby gate...well little toddler Houdini has figured us out and she now knows how to open the door knobs and push down baby gates to get to what is on the other side. This child is curious and she lets nothing stand in her way. At times it is scary but it is pretty much always frustrating! There have even been ER visits and poison control calls to prove it. She can not be trusted alone even for a second because inevitably she will FIND SOMETHING to get into. She has dumped uncountable boxes of cereal on the floor, covered the rug with baby powder, spread powered sugar all over the kitchen floor, sprayed her body and eyes with an ENTIRE bottle of sunscreen, she has spread toothpaste all over the bathroom, unrolled all the rolls of toilet paper, has covered herself the walls and the floors in Vaseline, covered herself from head to toe in NOT so washable markers and she has used the stool in the kitchen to get brownies off the stove to share with the dog. Whoever said "you pay for your raising" is proving it to me daily. I am thinking maybe I should have been a better child growing up....is it to late to take it back???

Let's Just Call it An Adjustment Period

I had often dreamed of being a stay at home mom...sleeping in until we got up..spending afternoons at the zoo and the park and just living and doing what ever my children wanted. So I quit my job and all of a sudden I was hurled back into the real world. The next few months were a journey in itself and I spent the time literally learning how to be a full time mom with out a lunch break. You see, when I worked my lunch break was MINE all MINE...my only alone time!! I used this time for anything and everything I wanted to do without two kids in tow. I got haircuts and pedicures, I ate food that was not kid friendly, went grocery shopping...I even took naps. My lunch break was my battery recharger...my way to get through the rest of the day and many times even the week. And just like that it was gone and I had to learn to time errands perfectly to avoid meltdowns and eventually learned that even timing can't prevent meltdowns ALL the time. I joined a play group which turned out to be my saving grace at times. I got rid of my new trail blazer and bought a cheap, paid for, no payments, all mine car. And I enrolled in school. I started college before I had children and somehow priorites shift once you see that pink line. I always wanted to finish I just didn't know when or how. This journey has made me explore myself and my parenting abilites. I no longer clock in and out because my job is 24 hours a day. Sometimes my days are so full that I wonder how I ever had time to work in the first place, but we no longer have to rush around to get anywhere. I get to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with my children every day. We get to live life on our schedule and do things that we want to do. When they are sad or get hurt I am the one that gets to give the hugs and wipe the tears. I have had to teach my youngest child to use a cup and a fork and we are now embarking on toilet training without any help from day care workers. I went from spending weekends and evenings with my children to spending every single day with them. There are many days that I am tired and there have even been days where I have wondered if I made the right decision. This journey has been a huge adjustment for me and the rest of my family. I went from a two earner marriage to being a stay at home mom, from making a check to getting paid in hugs and kisses. After everything I have been through, and all that I have learned from spending every day of the past year with my children I can honestly say that I would not trade one second of this experience to have my lunch break back!

How it all started

One morning in May 2009 I woke at 5am and I completed my morning routine that included getting myself and both girls ready for the day. After everyone was decent, lunches were packed and diaper bags were ready we all loaded up in the car and began our morning before the sun had even thought of coming up. Brooke went to day care, Paige went to the babysitter and I headed to the office just as I had done everyday for the past four years. Something was different on that day though and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. As I sat at my desk trying to get my work done I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't shake it. Sitting at my desk half way as a joke and half way as being dead serious I picked up my phone and sent a text message to my husband that said: I am quitting my job, selling my car, staying home with the girls and finishing school. Had I lost my mind or was this the most genious idea I had ever had? Well my husband probably thought I forgot my coffee that morning or something but little did he know at the time that text message would ultimatly change the path of our lives. About a week after that text message and after many nights of talking I put in my letter of resignation. About three weeks after that I was offically unemployed. Let the journey begin!!